The Outrageous Dare
by Impmon
Summary: Short comedy fanfiction about Harry Potter and the 7th year Gryffindor doing an outrangerous dare on a bet. Winner is the one who costs Gryffindor the most points.


The Outrageous Dare

06/08/2005

AN: forgive me if this seems a little rushed but I was a bit sleep deprived when I thought of this. No beta reader, nothing to cross reference. Just a quick 10 minutes comedy that hovers around PG-13 rating.

It was Harry's final year at Hogwarts. He and his fellow 7th year room mates were all drowning their sorrow in Butterbeer. They had played the next to last Quidditch match of the year against Ravenclaw and despire the team's best effort they had not helped Gryffindor's point standing. At 267 points, they were dead last and Slytherin were in the first place with an impressive 512 points.

They knew that unless they pulled a miracle in the final Quidditch match between them and Slytherin, they had no chance of getting the house cup. In their drunken state, they all decided to finish their 7th year in a manner that would impress the now infamous Weasley Twin.

All five boys and 2 girls in 7th year had planned a variation of Truth or Dare but with a twist: everyone chips in 5 Galleons. The winner of the pot is the one that causes the biggest point loss. That meant the worse you carry out your dare, the greater the potential point loss Gryffindor would suffer.

Hermione, being the Head Girl, disapproved this plan and opted not to get involved as she didn't want to get expelled two months before they were to graduate. But being a good friend, she had chosen to look the other way and "forgot" about the game.

Ron wanted in but he didn't have the money to cover the bet until Harry offered him the five Galleons to make up his past Christmas and Birthday presents (thankfully Ron had forgotten about Omnicular)

Once all the bets were hedged into a pot, everyone was to draw a name at random to see who their victim would be. Harry drew Neville's name and Parvati got Ron's name, which got Lavender. Lavender drew Parvati and Neville got Dean, who got Seamus. And Harry was Seamus' victim.

The rules were simple: nothing permanent other than your record. No one gets hurt badly and it has to be done within the week or they won't win the pot.

The first one to crack down and quit the game was Neville. He couldn't accept the dare Harry gave him when he was told to snog a mature mandrake. And that was just the easiest of all dares so far othr than the one from him to Dean.

Ron had an unfortunate dare to snog Professor Snape during the double potion class. Ron's face went paper white at that dare but the sight of 35 gleaming Galleons was enough for him to accept and try.

Harry didn't fare well. He was dared by Seamus to pose starker for Colin and let him plaster the photo around the school. Ron on the other hand got the satisfaction of driving Lavender out of the game when she refused to go starker and have dinner as if there was nothing wrong. Ron also earned a bright red hand print on his cheek.

Parvati was to drop several dungbombs from the top of the stairways while in between classes to try and get as many victims below as possible. Neville gave a wimpy dare to Dean to snog Seamus in public (which was easily accepted as both had secretly snogged before)

Dean took Ron's idea and got Seamus to streak the Great Hall during mealtime. Five dares left to be carried out, one week.

The following Monday, the first dare was carried out when Seamus shed his robe (which had nothing but his shoe on underneath) and trotted across the room. Among the catcalls, several blushing girls, some flash bulbs from Collin's camera, and a few choice words about trying to eat food. If there was one thing about cheesing several professors at once, only one could deduct points and Seamus got hit with 50 points plus detention for a week with Filch.

No one had ever seen Professor McGonagall so angry before, and her thin lip seemed so thin it had disappeared altogether. After she dragged him out by his ear, he was not allowed in the Great Hall for one week as well.

But it wasn't about to end there. Just before Professor could finish dragging Seamus out of the Great Hall, Dean jumped in and grabbed Seamus in a very long game of tonsil hockey. Several Slytherin students, who were already out off by Seamus' display gave up trying to have lunch altogether and left the Great Hall taking care to avoid looking at Seamus or Dean.

When Professor McGonagall got over her initial shock, she snapped at Dean and he too received a measly 25 points and one week detention.

The next day, Lavender skipped the ever dull History class and snuck up the stairways. With the aid of the Weasley Twin, Lavender stood on the topmost step with a case of nearly 50 dungbombs. The end of class bell had already rung and she was waiting for when most students would be on the steps before she activated the lot and tipped the box over the railing.

All hell broke loose as the falling dungbombs exploded on the way down, covering several students with foul smelling stench. Unfortunately the students weren't the only victim; Filch was also hit with the bomb. To make things worse, he's the one who often had to clean up after pranks and when he caught up with the girl, she was already on the verge of nervous breakdown.

A quick firecall later with Professor McGonagall, she was sacked with 75 points and one month detention starting with complete cleaning of the entire stairway with no magic. Part of her wanted to break down and cry, part of her was excited at the prospect of winning the money as she had the biggest loss so far.

Gryffindor was down to only 112 points remaining and no one knew if negative point was allowed or if zero was the bottom limit. If it was the latter, then there was only one chance for either Harry or Ron to beat Lavender's score.

Harry had discreetly arranged for Colin to meet him in an unused classroom for the photo shoot. At first Colin had no idea and when he saw Harry disrobe; his eyes nearly fell out of his socket. Harry had to threaten to hex Colin to get him back up and snapping away.

After a roll of film was used up, they quickly worked on developing the film and making several copies of the more favorable photo. Colin made the mistake of asking Harry to autograph one for himself because he now needed to see Madam Pomfrey to remove the bat-bogey and to extract his camera from his nose.

Armed with his invisibility cloak and Marauder's Map, Harry went about posting his nude pose in several locations throughout the halls and around the Great Hall. He used a powerful sticking charm on them that would cause Filch to have a stroke trying to remove just one of the pictures. He learned the spell after the Order had finally excommunicated the picture of Sirius' mother from Twelve Grimmauld Place.

Unfortunately the morning didn't go well for Harry. He did succeed in making Professor McGonagall several shades angrier than ever possible; unfortunately he only got detention until the end of school term. No points deducted at all. Seems that old codger Dumbledore interfered and pressured the faculty not to deduct any points. That didn't put Harry in a good mood and worse yet, he had to answer for the assault on Colin.

For his detention, he was ordered to clean up Greenhouse #13. He had received the worst possible cleanup detention as no one dared to go to Greenhouse #13. No one has ever come from that before. Even Madam Sprout avoided that place like plague. Seems that the last time anyone ever went in there, it was a pair of students sneaking away for a little snogging lesson almost a hundred years ago and they haven't been seen since then.

It was down to Ron to try and top Lavender in this warped game. He spent several minutes nervously twirling the hem of his robe, waiting for the right time. To move forward might arouse suspicion, Ron choose instead to really screw up his potion Neville style.

Sure enough it worked as the shocking blue color of the potion got Snape's attention. He came and hovered in front of Ron, glaring at him. "Mister Weasley, are you even paying attention? Your potion should be the color of olive green, not blue! What is this?"

"Ummm…? Trying to brew hair treatment for your greasy hair problem?" he muttered nervously before he reached out and got Snape in a tight grip and planted a long and mind blowing kiss. Snape managed to shove Ron away and with a death glare that would make Voldemort cry for his mum, he snarled at Ron. "Fifty points from Gryffindor for your impudence!"

It wasn't good enough but Ron still had the element of surprise as he once again got Snape into a death grip with yet another long and steamy kiss that would make most women swoon.

Snape finally found his wand and put Ron into a full body bind before he was able to break the kiss. "Another one hundred and detention until you have white hair!"

That had done it; Ron got the most and won the contest.

A week had passed since anyone say Harry last in the Greenhouse #13. Several of his friends as well as many girls from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw held a vigil by the greenhouse. Some of the girls had seen Harry's nude poses and were interested in him if he ever came out.

Much to everyone's surprise the door to the greenhouse creaked open and he stepped out slowly. He was completely covered in dirt and grime with some scratches. But he wasn't alone; he was dragging a white haired couple. The couple blinked their eye several times in the bright morning sun.

"My… oh my" Albus cried as he strode to the people. "I am Headmaster Dumbledore. Are you two the missing students?"

"Yeah" the male croaked softly. "Wh—what year is this? What is today?"

"Today is May 18, 1998."

"Nineteen—ninety—?" the couple gasped. "That means we were in there for over a hundred years!"

In doing his detention, Harry had inadvertently rendered a valuable service to the school and rescued lost students that no one had dared to look for and were presumed dead due to vicious plants in the greenhouse. "Harry Potter" Dumbledore said. "For your effort in locating and rescuing the lost students, I award you Five Hundred Points and a special award!" The crowd went wild with the cheering.

Filch had fainted dead away and Snape looked like he just found out Harry was his real father.

A few weeks later, Gryffindor had managed to squeak by Slytherin in Quidditch and won the House Cup by just a few points. And in the end of year feast, the professors failed to notice Seamus streaking again, with Dean in tow. Only the Slytherin students seemed to notice there were two students running around starker. Not that it did anything good; it was too late for any more point deducting.

As for Harry, he had to put up a bubble charm to keep the girls away; he had black and blue lip from kissing so many girls.

Oh yeah, Ron gave Harry five Galleons back, seems he did remember the Omnicular after all.

FIN


End file.
